Guest Post on Banquet Manager's Blog

Check this out, Our first move into the vast world online with a 'guest post' on So You Want To Be A Banquet Manager. A blog full of funny, interesting and true to life experiences. Get inside the Banquet Managers head and see what it's really like to be a Banquet Manager and more.And here is the rest of it.

The post written by Ranting Chef from ChefsKitchenRant with the title

A Day in The Life of a Young Chef

It is well worth a visit and a great read, please enjoy and leave a comment, feedback is so important. Image courtesy of So You Want To Be A Banquet Manager.

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Are You Really Sick?

The hospitality industry is one of those environments where it can be detrimental to other peoples health if you are sick and you work. Just the thought of someone sneezing into your plate of food, or not washing their hands after smoking or visiting the toilet, or even just touching their face is bad enough. We all must be very self conscious of our behaviour. Personal hygiene is of the upmost importance.

The thing is, where is the line between just calling in for a sicky and letting your team down, or not allowing the restaurant to take full advantage of what could be a busy night. But do you really care? I mean if you are (just) an employee, why should you care. I guess you don't have to, I mean we are one of the lowest paid professions out there hey. Funny that I have always had a thing for not taking a sick day even if I was sick, I guess that's just my nature, some may find it hard to believe and think how stupid of me but that's your opinion. I do it because I feel that I let my fellow team down and that I need to be there, just because.

The sad thing is that so many staff are just not like me and will take a sick day just like that, if the sun's out they will be sick, if the girls are going out they will be sick, if they drunk a bit too much they will be sick, mind you, the majority of staff are casual anyway and don't get sick day allocation, that means they won't get paid for it either, do they care, I don't think so. The cash must be rolling in for them some how. I reckon if I add all my sick days allocated to me over the past 20+ years, at 10 a year I would be able to take a very long paid break, sick of course!

Anyway the other day I had a slight tickle in the throat, I thought not much of it, sucked on a strepsil and kept up my usual 3 litre and more of water a day. I am generally quite a sick free person, touch wood, so I went to work and got on with my tasks. My body started to ache all over, I must have gone about 6 times for a pee, now that's not normal for me, so I knew something was up. By about 8pm I was pretty fucked. My fellow Chef said that I should go home, me being me was very resistant to that idea but eventually gave in and home I went.

Home to wifey who herself was a bit under the weather. I said that I think I might be coming down with something. My temperature reading 38.7 clarified the thoughts.
A double panadol and 'essig wickle' in German I guess you can translate them into vinegar socks, it is tea towels soaked in ice cold vinegar water and then wrapped around my feet, covered in plastic bags then wrapped up in thick towels. Then I was asleep.

After what I can recall as a good nights sleep, I woke with aching pain all over, the temperature had gone and my throat was already better, my voice however was very strange. I don't like to go to the doctor or dentist for that matter anyway, and this was again going to escape my wish list, as I had promised my fellow Chef that I would go and I do keep up my word. An appointment was made for the following day as they are so busy. I guess with everybody running to the Doctor for the most trivial of things I guess it's no wonder they are booked out. Not so good for the person who really needs to see them, ever thought about that people, I guess not.
The day progressed and I started to feel slowly better, less pain, better voice no temperature. I did spend all day lying down doing sweet FA, but that's what you do when your sick, you don't go shopping or visit friends or whatever you fakers do.

Today I saw my Doctor. The practice was like a train station, people everywhere coming, going, paying, the phone ringing, boy I thought my job was mad, the only difference being that they had staff everywhere!
I had the stick in my mouth ready to gag and all the other prods and pokes, lights in the ears and eyes, questions about this and that, after about five minutes I was out of there. $65 bucks lighter and a packet of tablets to swallow. No findings from the Doc though, he reckoned that what I had I had got rid of already, I thank the 'essig wickles' for that.
Considering how I felt the other night I am glad to be over it. A phone call to work to let them know that I would be in the next day if I stay the same.

Later that afternoon my Sous Chef in charge called and said that I could take the next day off to recover more, he has it all under control, that's great news and a little good Karma coming my way. Thank you.

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Chefs Versus Customers Revisited

If you're easily offended, exit now, this is not going to be pretty.

Well, it happened again. Another waitress in tears due to a table of prize fucktards.

It's Saturday night, we have a well booked restaurant, a wedding for 90, an understaffed establishment and we're ready to fucking rock and roll! One of our tables is a 16 pax, no problem, I find big tables easier to deal with most of the time as usually they are all family, friends or celebrating a common theme. All of which makes the event about them and what they are there for, rather than out to have a dining experience or to critique the restaurant.

It takes the pressure off us in the kitchen, as usually they can wait a little longer, on the understanding that we are not a club, RSL or a fucking dining hall. We are a restaurant, we cater for little parties of people, 2, 4, 6 no problem. If you all want to dine at the same time you need to book a fucking function room, accept one of the function menus and then we call the shots as to when you will receive your courses. That is simply the way it is done, if you don't like it, go somewhere else that can accommodate your needs, that's business.

If you really want to come to our establishment to dine from the 'a la carte' menu, then you are going to have to accept that your large group experience is NOT going to be an intimate journey of fine wines, Michelin star food and exquisite service. We are not set up that way and we cannot change the entire restaurant to suit the needs of 16 people out of the 160 or so that we will cater for this evening, so...

SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND PLAY BY THE FUCKING RULES!

This particular table turned out to be a bunch of geriatric old fucks, poncing it up as if they were Lords and Ladies, with their cheap nasty perfumes, pink rinses and plastic fucking earrings! Criticising everything they could and generally making themselves difficult and awkward for all the staff. They sat there for an hour, pissing around before they ordered, then placed the order and starting moaning about the length of wait they had after 20 minutes.

What the fuck?


We are an 'a la carte' restaurant. What does Lord Fuckhead, in all his royal wisdom understand this to be? Just calm the fuck down. They are not paying $500 dollars a head, we're lucky to get $30 out of these fucks. We do not have food sitting in bain maries waiting for their order, so that we can 'chop and slop' their meal to the table. Even if we did, the reaction we got from the great food that we did serve, would have been insignificant to the reaction they would have with 'chop and slop' style.

Rude, arrogant, ignorant fucks!

The situation seems to be in control however, our specialist on the floor, who has the ability to pacify such groups has moved in to take control. Fine, job done, eat up, pay up and fuck off, thank you :)

The last meals go out and I'm soon heading out for a ciggy, only to find waitress pacifier in tears! She might not be the perfect waitress, but intelligent and certainly not one to be fucked with, and the arrogance of our 16 pax has created this!

I am so fucking pissed off. It makes my blood boil. Read my previous post for a more in depth look at why I'm so angry.

http://chefskitchenrant.blogspot.com/2009/05/chefs-versus-customers.html

So, now we are a staff member down. Is this group of fucking arseholes happy now? That they've upset someone to the point of tears, should we bring her out to show them what they've done? Will they go home tonight thinking that they had a great night because they fucked with someones emotions? FUUUUCK, I'm FUCKING RAGING! But yet, somehow, somewhere, there is still something in all hospitality professionals that keeps us from returning the arrogance. Why is this? Well, just maybe, it is because we have a passion for excellence and a drive to ensure every customer has an enjoyable experience, it's why we do the job, and it's what we were taught to do. And maybe, it's because we are simply better people.


One of these days though, I'll be caught off guard and I'm going to throw the fuckers out myself!

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Dirty Staff

How many of you like to come to work and see someone's arse crack? Very few I would imagine. That is one of my pet hates and unfortunately it is becoming more and more popular due to the current 'fashions'. This is ridiculous. Not only is it unhygienic, but it really isn't a pleasant thing to see. If i wanted to see somebodies arse every time I came to work I'd ask Shrek to trade places with me =) NOT COOL! I'm sorry but no matter how you spin it, having pants down around your ankles is not a good thing. Which brings me to another blog about uniforms.

Now the majority of chefs take pride in the uniform we wear. It may sound silly, but the clothes Chefs wear are universally known and recognised to many as professional and extraordinary. But what about waiters? What is symbolic to their dress code? Do waiters take the same pride in there appearances as Chefs? I doubt it.
Lets face it, as Hellraiser has previously stated in many of his posts, most waiters take on this roll to earn some extra cash or for something to do of an evening. It isn't a lifestyle or a career choice for them. Do they know why they wear aprons below the knee? Do they know the history of their standard uniform? Chefs do, so why don't they?

The answer is plain and simple. They just don't care. But honestly, even if you don't care about where your uniform originated, at least have some pride in your appearance and enough self respect to tuck in your shirt and pull you fucking pants up! Does you mother need to come to your house and dress you every morning?
The amount of people who turn up to work wearing dirty aprons and unironed shirts seems to be growing by the day. Aren't we supposed to be in a society now that is consumed by vanity? Well if so, why is it that no one takes 5 minutes to iron their shirt and find a clean apron?
People don't care how they look and how they present themselves anymore, they only care about getting paid. This mentality is simply unacceptable.
Who wants to go to a fine restaurant for dinner and be served by a grotty slob waiter. It's not good for business and it's not good for your personal reputation. No one is going to recommend the restaurant to a friend if they have been served by Sloppy Waiter Dumbass.
Have a bit of pride people and show some respect for your employment establishment and yourself!

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For the Record

Dear fellow Ranters!

This site has proved to be far more of a success than we thought, and way more fun too :) I, however, have a few points to make just, "For the Record".

The Chefs Kitchen Rant site was started by 2 full time, hands on Chefs, with 45 years hospitality experience between them. It is a site for ranting, venting, and getting things off your chest, for EVERYBODY, not just Chefs. Some posts are done on days off, some are done before work and more often than not, after work. The after work post will be fuelled by after service buzz and adrenalin, frustration and happiness! We say what we feel at the time, and say it how it really feels. That, as all Chefs know, will include a barrage of swearing, but this doesn't mean negativity!

I will make no apologies for being honest.

More importantly, I personally will not take advantage of this site. It will not be used as a means to attack or degrade my current place of employment or the staff I work with.

If you've read any of my posts, I think you know I'm not one to hide in cyberspace!

I will continue to stir up shit as, and when i feel like it, it's refreshing to hear peoples honest opinions :) Some of you though, really need to dry your fucking eyes.

Lets get more writers on board, tell your friends, get involved and let's have some fucking giggles here.

Hellraiser Chef

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Chefs and Waiters

Wow this is getting hot.
There are Chefs and there are chefs, just like there are Waiters and there are waiters.

Chefs Versus Waiters

This is a follow on from the post Chefs Versus Waiters by Hellraiser, I recommend that you read it first.

Please No Anonymous

I'm not going to address anyone anonymous, I would like you anonymous to give your self a name fake or real it doesn't matter, just so that we don't have to address everyone as anonymous.

Judgment Day

But who is best to pass judgment. A chef that has worked in 5 star hotels and Michelin star restaurants or a chef that has not. A waiter that has done fine gueridon silver service or a waiter that hands you a number to collect your food when ready?
Who would you listen to, to find information about building a successful business, Donald Trump or who's going broke next? You chose....... Exactly

If you can read the posts properly not all of the wait staff are or should be put in the same boat. But let it be known, after many years and eating houses that I have crossed paths with, the few with top class waiters are exactly that, a few.

The Trend

The trend is that you find the best waiters in the best houses. I guess you can also say that about us chefs. True or false? Well if you look at me I would have to say false. I would class myself as a talented chef with a big horse. Being a chef was and still is my chosen carer since the age of 15, now if you don't have a big horse at my age, then something is wrong. You should be proud of your achievements and not be afraid to say so.

Yes everybody can sort of cook, and yes everyone can serve food to a table, but to do it properly with passion and great presence of mind is something else.

Chefs Kitchen Screaming

Not all chefs have to scream at their wait staff, maybe because they are good at what they do...
How does anyone feel good about having to shout and scream at people to get things done, I don't think they can, but you do what you have to do. If a fireman screams at you to get the hell out, or move your ass now, are you going to sit and cry about it and after go and tell him next time please be a bit more polite about it. If it wasn't for him maybe there would not be a next time. People do what they do.

Maybe if I wanted to work with good wait staff I should have stayed in the top tier dinning rooms around the world. But no here I am doing my thing day in day out to a standard that customers are surprised to find in a small town like ours. So, now I ask myself, can it be that all the good competent wait staff are still in those great restaurants? can't be so.

Food Service Industry

Of course waiters are the eyes and ears for the chef and they should be able to deal with any situation that arises, just being pleasant wont do it. So is it fair to assume that the waiters should have some knowledge of the food service industry? Not a brick layer trying to serve a meal with wine thats going to cost someone dearly, when they fuck it up. First in their pocket then their experience. Maybe the food was good but service was poor, how many times have I heard that!! Also how does the waiter deal with the customer that gets his steak over cooked or something else for that matter.

Do you think that Donald Trump deals with his staff any different? He lets them have it big time if they mess up, do you think that the coach of 'whatever' losing team, at halftime pats them on the back and wishes them good luck, I don't think so. Thats just two scenarios that work to a time limit, deadline or whatever you want to call it. When the pressure is on they, you, and I have to produce the goods.

Training

So how are you going to get better at what you do?

Maybe if there was a place that trained floor staff to standards required by paying customers before they land in some restaurant were they are required to perform the duties of a waiter it would save all of us our sanities. But I did forget everyone can cook and serve....

Maybe we are trying for too high a standard.

Tips are a good indication of quality food and service, are you cashing in big?

The Law of Attraction

If we can attract the customer who wants good quality food and service, and who are willing to pay top dollar, then we might be able to all earn more as a result. Ever thought about that.

That customer will dine where he feels comfortable and thats no slop shop. He might end up leaving a big tip and not just a mess on the floor!!!

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Chefs Versus Waiters

I hate waitstaff. As far as I am concerned they are merely the carrier of my work to the intended recipient, and even then they still can't get it right! Waitstaff are the necessary evil I must put up with to fulfill my duties as a Chef, and I hate them just a little bit more than I hate the customers they serve, but I'll keep that for another blog!

I have worked my arse off to become a chef. I have travelled around the world, worked in many different countries and some of the best hotels and restaurants they have to offer. I have been cut and stitched, burned, bashed and broken, physically and mentally. I have had to learn two different languages, French and German. I have to understand mathematics, computers, menu composition, people management and, I still have to be a good cook. It seems to me that the only qualifications needed for a waiter these days is a heartbeat, and even then I find myself searching for that in them too.

They stroll into work at 5 or 6pm, on the dot, with no time to brief themselves of Chef's Specials, table plans, section allocations, and bang, curtain goes up! They are still pulling their pants up when the guests start to arrive, and the chaos begins. I find myself asking the Exec, "What the fuck's going on tonight, who's doing what?" "Fuck knows!" is his reply! :) It's a comedy show to us, and I really do find it amusing, I laugh out loud on a regular basis. It also amuses me to annoy these waiters, just to add to their mounting stress levels, then stand back and watch the show unfold. They're all out there now, panicing, stressing, taking orders for food and drinks. The kitchen suddenly goes from standstill to totally overwhelmed in 30 minutes. There's just not enough oven space, all gasses are full and there's simply not enough bodies in the kitchen to cope with all the orders coming at once. Then we cop the abuse, "How long for table 15?" "Table 3 are getting shitty." "The guy on 6 reckons he could cook better gratin himself!" FUCK OFF! We're working at top speed, as fast and as good as we can, give us a fucking break hey!

I've also been abused by waiters during service, which is like pulling the pin on a grenade, the shit's going to go flying! Years ago in Germany, I had a waiter try to stab me, until he was knocked out by the commis chef!

Why does this happen? Not one of these waiters has any skill in the profession, because that is what it is, a professional job, not a part time money making thing. If it's just for the extra cash, please, go somewhere else to earn it, supermarket checkouts always need staff.

When I was an apprentice, waiters were just like us. They were full time, working the same hours as the chefs, and often more. They had to learn the trade from the ground up, become qualified, and work their way through the ranks to get to the top. They had titles, Aboyeur, Maitre de Hotel, Commis debrasseur, Sommelier and Chef de Rang, to name just a few.

During service time it was a planned and carefully executed show that the guest was unaware of. These professionals had the ability to quote you the menu and take your order without looking at a menu or having a pen and order book, and they could personalise the service and make every table feel like they were the only one in the restaurant.

When they came to the kitchen to pick up food, they were carefully and quietly directed to stand in queue and wait for their table to come up. We were under no circumstances allowed to interact with the waiters, and that is how it was, quiet, organised and working well, with waiters taking their food to their table at the right time. I should mention that waiters were paid even less than chefs, they had to make up their earnings with tips, which could be very rewarding to a great waiter. No tips were shared in the kitchen then, and rightly so.

So what the fuck has happened? No kid is going to want to leave school and earn shit money for years doing shit jobs, just to maybe one day work in a world class restaurant as a chef or a waiter. It's a dying industry I find myself in, and I'm trying to maintain the standards that took so long to learn. So why should I have to put up with waitress cryalot or waiter dumb ass, who does 2 0r 3 hours a night, who wrecks my food when they yank it off the pass, who takes the wrong food to the wrong table or mixes up the well done and medium rare steak, who cant write a legible order, or who won't answer me when I speak? These fucking idiots are spoiling the night for the guest and they are ruining everything I've worked for and making me look incompetent as a chef. They reason the guest has been waiting an hour for their mains is because waiter dumb ass took their food to the wrong table 30 minutes ago and hasn't realised it yet.

Fucking waiters! Seriously, the only reason I put up with them is because it keeps me away from the customer!

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Hellraiser's Rant

Hopefully this blog will create some activity between chefs and hospitality staff alike. I have been hearing for 20 years now the grumblings of Chefs and floor staff, here now is your opportunity to let it all out.

I honestly believe that we as Chefs MUST now stand up and be noticed, for too long we have been abused by customers, overworked and underpaid, and the further down the line we get, with more experience and knowledge, the worse things get for us, what the fuck? How does this happen?

I love my job (lucky hey?) and yes, I still take the abuse! I can't give it up, it's my addiction and after 20 years, I'm fucking good at it :) I've been through hell and back to get to where I am, and I'm not going to quit because of some arsehole customer who doesn't know Mornay from Moet, or the fat bastard boss who gets rich from my efforts and skill. Fuck you all!

This is going to be one hell of a blog, keep watching, this is just the start!

You can also follow us here,

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Chefs-Kitchen-Rant/71376173020?ref=mf

Hellraiser.

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Welcome to Chef's Kitchen Rant Where We Take No Prisoners

You wouldn't think that we are actually quite nice guys. However, there comes a time in a chef's life when he or she just can't help ranting about the supplier, the customer or the boss. So, Kenny and I cooked up this idea where we have this blog, duh... the Chef's Kitchen Rant to share our frustrations and anger with you.

This is supposed to be an open minded forum like site where customers can freely share their ideas and views with us without being bashed to death (at least not totally, hehehe...) Consider this a tongue in cheek website to give us all some room to vent.

Looking forward to hearing your rants.

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