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Want a slice of MasterChef Julie Goodwin

Monday, August 3, 2009

'Everyone wants a slice of the chef' was the title of yet another full page spread about MasterChef.

NO. Not everybody. Get your facts right. I certainly don't want anything to do with that sort of crap.

Even worse is that according to the Sunday paper Julie Goodwin has four publicists, a celebrity agent, a looming book deadline, a magazine column, frantic TV and radio appearances--and random strangers asking for advice. What the fuck is going on, she is a nobody for peat sake, before this show started she was a house wife and runs an I.T. business and at tops, a hobby cook.

How many chefs out there would be dying for a little help from the media to get ahead?
What about those who bust their balls day in day out for Michelin stared chefs just trying to break into the limelight?

Oh well I must admit that I would have loved some one to grab up myself years back just to help get ahead grab some publicity. But then I'm not MasterChef even though I have busted my balls for the last 20+ years cooking for the public, yes I guess some of the 4.9 million of those that reckon that Julie is the best thing since sliced bread, Fuck you. You are a bunch of people that probably think that you will win the next 90 million on the lotto, yeah right.

I don't understand how these producers come up with this stuff, it's just so fake.

Quote 'cooking schools are filling up with students, kitchen-supply shops selling out'. Fuck, where do you get that information? It's just a big joke, we will see in a few months time, how it is and in a few years, how it is. You are just trying to mask how bad it really is and trying to make out that it's easy and anybody can do it! FRO. Quote 'we had no idea the snowball effect it would have'

Julie Goodwin's cookbook, with the working title 'Our Family Table' will be published by Random House around April next year. Apparently that means Julie has seven weeks to compile, write and test 100 recipes. She said that they've lined up someone to help with the food testing, quote "but I'm not going to send someone a recipe if I haven't tested it myself" I wait with baited breath to see whats in this book, baked beans on toast or roast beef and Yorkshire pud, or battered fish 'n' chips. Oh well, I wont be wasting my money on it that's for sure. Just as bad as that bullshit '4 ingredients', a classic I saw on Martha Stewart, ginger tart was the title. It was ginger biscuits, condensed milk, and banana topped with whipped cream. What a crock of shit, that's ginger tart my ass ladies! Why don't you go and climb back under that rock you came from?

As for all you young starters out there, I hope that you don't expect us to wipe your backside after you crap yourself when the service gets going and the chef demands perfection, Julie won't be there to help. You better wake up to reality quick or you will get eaten by yet another fake dream.

Remember, chefs are not just TV stars, we cook for a profession, it's our life and not a one night stand. It's in our blood. You don't become a MasterChef just by winning a house wife cooking show and you won't become a master chef overnight, I and many others have been striving for perfection for years and still wouldn't dare give ourselves the title of a MasterChef.

Here you can read more about MasterChef Australia

Image credit :MasterChef photos

13 comments:

Waiter Extraordinaire said...

I am agreeing with you all the way.Besides she looks a bit like she couldn't boil an egg.

Hellraiser said...

Fuck me! The waiter agrees with the chef. Stop the press! Do we have some industry solidity here? I fucking hope so.

I'll say it again, it's not us and you, it's not front and back of house, it's not staff versus management, IT'S INDUSTRY PROFESSIONALS VERSUS THE WORLD!

Yes, we will always poke fun at each other within the industry, but I'm so proud that this site is bringing together, from around the world, professionals who think alike.

I'm not talking about you fucking fucktard pretenders out there! This is for the hardened, grissled, frazzled, burned out hardcore FULL TIME staff, who rely on their industry as their only source of income. You part time arsewipes can lick my sack.

I will make an allowance for those who have chosen to slow down, for health or family reasons etc.., as long as they haven't been a fucking plumber, grave digger, I.T. consultant, property developer, counsellor,or a fucking bull wanker for the last 10 years, oh, and don't get me started on food sales reps, then suddenly decide they want to call themselves a hospitality professional, now that it's fucking 'cool' again.

As for the "MasterChefs" hahahaha... how about MasterNeuroSurgeon? You have to perform brain surgery as your final test, but you have the instructions and several qualified doctors near by!

MasterAstronaught? MasterSupremeCourtJustice? MasterParamedic?
MasterFuckingBater!

bulletholes said...

I don't know how it is down under but here is a link to what it takes to be a Certified Master Chef in the USA.
http://www.acfchefs.org/Content/NavigationMenu2/About/Media/Releases/2009/pr090625a.htm

It is a 10 day testing schedule, withn the first two days being an evaluation just to see if you have your wits enough to do the next 8 days.
There are only 59 CMC's in the United States.
Not anyone can do it, very few are even CEC's and TV shows that seem to imply that anyone can take a piss.

ranting chef said...

Hi Bulletholes, Thank you for commenting. Sounds like only the dedicated and true chefs would gain that title. Switzerland has a Diploma for executive chefs as well, which you require to run your own restaurant kitchen. There are still some very good chefs out there that don't have such a diploma or the likes of though.

Anonymous said...

Just watching Masterchef Australia here in NZ at the moment. Oh dear lord how can anyone say that Julie Goodwin is a Masterchef. LOL I agree it takes EXCELLENT chefs years to get that title.Goodwin has a long long way to go. She is NO chef. Don't know how she even got to the final. BS.

Savory Tv said...

4 publicists? Unbelievably ridiculous, even the most famous celeb chefs only have (and need) one.

Hellraiser said...

Savory TV, it's beyond ridiculous. Funnily enough I haven't seen our new Australian Masterchef on TV recently, but maybe that's because I rarely watch the damn thing, or maybe Julie Masterchef Goodwin has become snowed under replying to all the requests for scone recipes!

Anonymous said...

OM fuking god!!! jealous much!!! i thought julie was an awesome chef maybe beeing a great chef just comes naturaly to some people!! maybe some people dotn need to go through years of trainning because they teach themselves!!!! and are just naturaly that good!!! for fuck sake! where the fuck do you people get off!!! i think that maybe people have just over the years thought that you have to be a gordan ramsay to be a fucking chef!!! i think she proved herself quite well ...she was after all doing a FAMILY RECIPE cook book and i thought her cooking reflected what she was there to achieve. get of your fucking high horses for fuck sake every one deserves a chance

Hellraiser said...

Firstly, I'm so fucking sick of soft cock, no ball fuckers who can't even rub two brain cells together to come up with even a fucking pseudonym. Name yourselves so we can bring you down personally!

Secondly, what is a Master Chef? Certainly not Julie Goodwin, that's just a title she inherited through TV media. Nobody has attacked her personally, just the hype and the show she was involved with. Good luck to her, just stay the fuck away from professional Chefs. She is not, and never will be a Chef. To gain the title of Chef you have to spend years at college, pass your exams and then spend many years in the industry. I personally didn't call myself a Chef until I took my first Head Chef role, until then I was a qualified cook.

Thirdly, and most importantly. The show MasterChef Australia was, if you do some research, specifically to find NEW TALENT, and catapult them into the industry. She had her chance, but shunned it for the cash. Ramsay's Hell's Kitchen is a fucking awful show, but he found talent and gave them opportunities to join, stay and grow within the professional industry.

Julie Goodwin used the opportunity to make cash. Otherwise who would buy a family cookbook from an IT expert? The runner up has used her experience to do what she loves the most, be a foodie, and good on her. She even has her own show working with us, the professionals.

PS, I own a fucking stable of High Horses, when you're big enough you may be able to ride one, otherwise...Fuck Right Off :)

silas said...

if your having a rant learn to spell !

Hellraiser said...

Silas, if YOU'RE going to comment on spelling I suggest you use YOUR spell checker! Idiot.....

ranting chef said...

Is that all? Got to luv it. Sorry LOVE it. LOL

Kerry Mathews said...

She's an abomination. Julie Goodwin is the cooking equivalent of dried mucus, spat onto a rusted bin lid.

Julie Goodwin should understand what an appalling wretch she is: diabolical recipes, a horrendous personality and all the creative spark of a concrete lamp post.

Julie Goodwin's book 'Our Family Table' is utterly terrible, the recipes smell of raw sewage - much like Julie Goodwin herself.

Aside from all that, she herself is a bottom feeding lime-light craving beast. Look at her - really look: she's a putrid example of all that's wrong with our society. I remind my kids not to look at a woman such as Julie Goodwin with admiration, instead to view her with abject disgust.

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