MasterChef Australia

We all saw the final episode of MasterChef Australia right? Well, 4.9 million of you did. That's the biggest viewing number in an Australian non-sporting television event, and 4.9 million of you wasted your fucking time.

What the fuck is Julie Goodwin a Master Chef of exactly?

I tried to avoid the show when it was running, but unfortunately I did however see a few episodes, kind of like 'rubbernecking' at an accident, you know it's going to be awful, but you just can't help looking.

This show was a fucking joke. I thought the point of it all was to help showcase undiscovered amateur talent, to give a leg up to someone who wanted to be in the industry, not to find the best Australian home cook.

Julie runs an I.T. business in New South Wales and states that her favourite cuisine is 'Aussie'. Now she wants to open 'a little homestyle cafe on the coast, serving unpretentious food'. Well, lets all rush to the cafe for Australia's next taste sensation. I don't fucking think so.

In the competition, she failed badly, many times, she was an absolute fucking wreck in the kitchen during stressful periods and there's just no way she would ever make Chef material.

What is it that's so fucking trendy about chefs at the moment? Why is it that there's so many celebrity chefs out there, trying to turn the industry into some kind of fucking reality TV show? They're hyping it all up, getting people excited, getting them into the industry, and 2 months later, our new 'young guns' are gone, when they realised that it's really bloody hard work! It's insulting and degrading for qualified chefs.

I made a dessert special for service this evening, one on the comments passed was that it was 'better than MasterChef' Fuck Right Off! Now that they've seen how 'easy' it is on TV, we're going to have everyone giving us their two cents worth, I mean, if Julie can do it, we all can, right?

Here's the news, no you fucking can not! It's in the blood, it's something that can only be experienced after many, many years in the job. Once you get to 15 - 20 years, just maybe, if you're good enough, you may be lucky to be honoured as a true Master Chef. It's a title that should be bestowed upon you, from your peers.

Julie, you seem like a nice person, but you are not a Master Chef, so please, do us all a favour, stay the fuck away from our industry. Sell your book, have your 15 minutes, and go F.R.O back to I.T.