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Chef Tourette's Syndrome

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I have recently discovered another Chef ailment. Chef Tourette's Syndrome, or as I shall now refer to it, CTS. Not to be confused with RSRS, (Rock Star Retard Syndrome). This is a serious affliction, resulting in uncontrollable bouts of intense swearing, reddening of the face, swelling of the eyes and possibly, in severe cases, kicking or throwing of objects and/or people.

I witnessed first hand a 30 year CTS sufferer's outburst on Saturday night and we're lucky we got out alive! It was the first time in many years that I myself had to keep out of the firing line, just in case :) It was only when something went flying behind me did I dare to look up from my chopping board.

I'll spare you all the gory details, but basically another kitchen fuck up, by simply not having prepped early enough, oh, and the burning to a crisp of $350 worth of fish! The sad thing is that the people responsible had absolutely nothing to say for it. I've learnt over the years that it's easier just to own up and be done with it. We all make mistakes, but I'll be fucked if I would ever give anyone the opportunity to catch me making the same mistake twice.

CTS seems to be harder to control, perhaps with the endless amounts of idiots we have to work with now contributes to the condition, and with the strict working laws we have now, all swearing is forbidden. It's a tough gig!! :)

So, for those on the receiving end of CTS, just listen to what you're told, and don't make the same mistake twice.



propman said...

I worked for some crazy Nazi germans in the 70's who cussed and threw crap at you all the time.Lot's of times I'd start laughing at them and they would send me home. I always fessed up to messing shit up. Wouldn't be such a bad ass chewing. Now I get to cut loose on my crew. Not very often but it sure scares the shit out of them!

Hellraiser said...

Thanks for your comment Propman! I have had a similar experience, whilst working in Germany, so I know what you mean :) Our Exec Chef used CTS for exactly the same reasons you do. You don't have to do it often, but when the crew have seen it once they do not want to see it again, a little fear factor in the kitchen produces higher standards and keeps them on their toes!

shaogo said...

I'm not proud of it, but every once in a long while I'll get so fed up with having to micro-manage the kitchen that I'll go to the dish station and throw a glass against the wall. That speaks volumes and is far better than just shouting obscenities (when everyone else's doing it, too).

Hellraiser said...

Thanks for the tip Shaogo, I'm gonna try that one out ;)

ex Princess Receptionist said...

Ah Hellraiser - I have witnessed such CTS from you - although I'm not sure I was actually ever on the receiving end thankfully!! Effective? Yes. Scary? Definitely!

Hellraiser said...

Thank you for commenting Princess! I don't believe you ever were on the receiving end of my CTS, but you did have an unfair advantage over all the other staff xxx

ranting chef said...

CTS has finally been diagnosed....after all these years.

The saying goes, never trust a skinny chef, well I say never trust a chef.

They (we, myself included) all make mistakes. The key is as you say Hellraiser not to make the same one twice.
I have some horror stories that I could tell, but the blog would be tooo long.

My fair share of receiving some CTS has obviously left it's scares, and thankfully my own outbursts are some what scarce these days, but boy they were not to be taken lightly.

As you well know, to hold down a post in a multi michelin starred kitchen for well over a year on a sauce section that has alone more chefs than many a kitchen brigade, takes some doing, and for those that can't relate, well you better get in one and toughen the fuck up and forget this fancy pancy Master chef crap..... that is brain washing the nation.

Hellraiser said...

Chefs who react like this have passion, an emotion that is near impossible to control, this is where the CTS comes from, it's not a desire to upset people.

The follow on from this post, and recent outburst of CTS, has had very serious consequences in our kitchen.

The kids just don't get it. They don't understand because they have no fucking hunger, no drive to be better than the rest of their crew.

Any Chef who has Michelin time, has taken more bollockings than is humanly possible, not because they're shit eating softcocks, but because they are the hardest fuckers in the kitchen, each new arse kicking serving only to fuel their passion to get to the top.

The Generation Y Masterchef brigade don't know what a Michelin Star is.

We will have the last laugh Ranting Chef!

Anonymous said...

"Generation Y Masterchef" sums it up perfectly!


mouthy f***** said...

i dont usally make out burst but now i work in a kitchen of less then capable people the general manager got on my case about my uniform not being the right one but if they gave me one that fit i would wear it but that is beside the point he got up in my face and i seen red so i cut loose on him so now i have to find another job so this is how cts goes bad but even though it was no the best thing to do it felt pretty good to tell that tosser where to go there a better times to be bollock someone then when they pushing out big covers by them self

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