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Saturday, June 6, 2009
(Chefs Versus Waiters, Part 2)
"I will wear a fucking bow tie under my whites, just in case I have to get out there myself."
A bold statement indeed, but sadly, a very true one.
This is something I have been ranting on about for years, and it was my Executive Chef who stated the above and jogged my memory. When I posted previously and said that I did know better, it was because I DO know better! Having had the privilege to work in some of the finest establishments around the world, has not only taught me how to cook like The Almighty Chef God that I am, it has also taught me how floor service should be!
I know exactly what should, and should not be going on, and if it came down to it, I could work on the floor very easily. How many floor staff could jump into a section of the kitchen with only a few minutes notice? Now I know there are floor staff out there who have qualified as chefs, but have then chosen to work on the floor. That's fine, but you need to do the job better because you have some insight to what's going on in the kitchen.
How many floor staff know the difference between a grenache and a verdelho, and which foods would match them? Do any of them know how to decant? And by the way, champagne corks are not designed for flight!
What does waitress cryalot know about a bowl of fucking ice cream? Where's the scoop? Where's the bowls? What sauce and where is it? Um....where's the freezer? Yet I know my table numbers, I know the menu inside out, I can work the bar and till, and I can carry fucking plates all night long and exactly the way the Chef had instructed me! What's so fucking hard about it? The real skilled floor staff are the ones who know how the kitchen works and how to manage customers with it. That's a skill I don't have, as that can only come from experience, but when I see it in action, it's a joy to watch. It's all part of the show!
So apprentice fuckwit just burned the shit out your meal, and your table is ready for mains, but it's going to take another 30 minutes for the meal to be cooked again. Should we just try to ignore you for half an hour, hoping that you don't catch our eye? Or should we be over at your table, pouring wine, getting more drinks and maybe an amusebouche or bread to tide you over as the kitchen are very busy at the moment? Chances are, you'll never notice 30 minutes have gone by and then your meals are at your table. Job done. Happy customers. It should be like this if we do 12 or 120 customers, every night.
I've dined like royalty, I've eaten the finest foods with the finest wines and been served on like an Almighty Chef God :) However, it still remains that waiter dumbass, and the casual infected with RSRS, get the shits because you're telling them what they should be doing in certain situations. If only they would listen their work life could be so much easier.
Actually, fuck off and let me show you how it's done, because you have the brains of a stripper!
3 comments:
Love it, Hellraiser!! How true you are, maybe we should just hire chefs and when they start give them a bow tie and push them onto the floor. But then not all chefs are true chefs, quote 'aeyyyii chef what's french for ...............Dumb ass.'
I remember that one place the floor staf had to first do stint in the kitchen before they entered the dinning room, this gave them a better understanding of what goes on in the engine room, befor we even raise the cutrains for the show
Yes Ranting Chef, when I was working in Germany, the company insisted that all trainee F&B managers did 3 months in every department of the hotel. What a great idea! These trainees would then have the benefit of understanding, as opposed to those who think they know it all, these guys actually had comprehensive knowledge of all internal operations and departmental integration. I shake my head at those who "put their heart and soul" into the job and think that it makes them a professional. No, it does not! The sooner these dumbasses, and I'm talking about front and back of house here, have a better grasp of what goes on in different areas of the hospitality industry, the better. Take the blinkers off you fucktards and educate yourself, knowledge is power and ignorance is not an excuse for your stupidity!
@ Big Hairy Red Ones
I think your comment is very 'inelegant', you have certainly structured better looking sentences before, perhaps a little unintelligent!
I agree, relaying the entire complaint word by word to the Chef during a busy service is sheer lunacy. As is a chef telling a story at the pass. We need details, quickly, to solve the problem, save the excuses for later.
As to me? Personally I don't feel the need to defend myself here, my opinions are general, and not about anyone specific (well maybe one). So, if you are referring to a specific night or incident, I can't answer that. I will say though, that I do mouth off, if and when I feel like it, because if I have a reason to do so, then it is completely justified. There's only so much bullshit you can take before the seals burst. That goes for wait staff, chefs and customers!
And YES, I wish I was stripper too :)
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